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Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Building Relationships
Building Relationships:
Part I:
Why and How to Understand People
A great philosopher and Hindu leader once asked his audience to define love. The respondents came up with a long list of answers. To each one he shook his head. Finally, he answered the question himself. "Love is nothing more or less than understanding."
Another great leader and writer, Stephen Covey, who authored "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," advised his readers with the same sentiment. "Seek first to understand and then to be understood."
What did these two great thinkers mean by "understanding?" It's better to start with what they did not mean. Understanding doesn't mean agreement with or approval of another person. It does not require you to condone a behavior; nor does it mean that you must give up your needs or feelings.
Understanding means the intellectual and emotional ability to engage in another person's perspective. The true secret to understanding is to take judgment out of the equation. The minute you catch yourself wondering whether that person has a "right" to act or feel they way they do, you have lost your ability to understand.
Understanding is essential to all healthy professional and personal relationships for three reasons: First, it helps us learn how to communicate. Second, when we understand a person, we let go of the need to control them and their behaviors, and lastly, we are able to let go of anger or frustration we may have towards them for not being exactly what we want or need.
The real question isn't whether or not we should understand others, it's how to do it. Think of someone in your life who you find challenging – a colleague, your child, a partner or a friend. Then start with these three actions:
1. Look for motives. Instead of focusing on behaviors you don't like, try to analyze the reason behind them. Does this person have a different philosophy about work and life than you do? Is this person acting from some deeper needs or insecurities? Once you identify the source behind the behavior, you are better equipped to deal with it. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see where they are coming from.
2. Identify patterns. The best way to understand people is to observe them. Repetitious behaviors provide very good insight into people's needs, as they show you what is truly going on in their conscious and unconscious minds. For example, if you have a colleague or spouse who is constantly in crisis, on some level they may get energy from chaos, or they may not want to slow down for fear of having to face some bigger issues in their lives. Patterns of behavior reveal people's deeper beliefs about the world and themselves. This helps you narrow down the key areas in which you can be more effective in your communication.
3. Listen. We all know the old adage that we were given two ears and one mouth to use in that proportion. Understanding others does not come from hearing ourselves talk. We must learn to listen – and not only to the words people say, but to the words they don't. Good listeners read between the lines, observe body language, and clear their minds of their own thoughts. That is no easy task, but it is the most important skill anyone can learn. The next column will focus on how to be a great listener and what that means to building relationships. So, stay tuned.
Most of us agree that our lives are rich not because of the things we own, but by the relationships we have. We get stuck in our needs, and our way of seeing things, and assume that things are black and white, when in truth, the answers are almost always in shades of gray. Understanding the complex personalities and needs of any other human being is among the greatest gifts we can give them, and ultimately ourselves.
By Elisa Levy
Part I:
Why and How to Understand People
A great philosopher and Hindu leader once asked his audience to define love. The respondents came up with a long list of answers. To each one he shook his head. Finally, he answered the question himself. "Love is nothing more or less than understanding."
Another great leader and writer, Stephen Covey, who authored "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," advised his readers with the same sentiment. "Seek first to understand and then to be understood."
What did these two great thinkers mean by "understanding?" It's better to start with what they did not mean. Understanding doesn't mean agreement with or approval of another person. It does not require you to condone a behavior; nor does it mean that you must give up your needs or feelings.
Understanding means the intellectual and emotional ability to engage in another person's perspective. The true secret to understanding is to take judgment out of the equation. The minute you catch yourself wondering whether that person has a "right" to act or feel they way they do, you have lost your ability to understand.
Understanding is essential to all healthy professional and personal relationships for three reasons: First, it helps us learn how to communicate. Second, when we understand a person, we let go of the need to control them and their behaviors, and lastly, we are able to let go of anger or frustration we may have towards them for not being exactly what we want or need.
The real question isn't whether or not we should understand others, it's how to do it. Think of someone in your life who you find challenging – a colleague, your child, a partner or a friend. Then start with these three actions:
1. Look for motives. Instead of focusing on behaviors you don't like, try to analyze the reason behind them. Does this person have a different philosophy about work and life than you do? Is this person acting from some deeper needs or insecurities? Once you identify the source behind the behavior, you are better equipped to deal with it. Put yourself in their shoes and try to see where they are coming from.
2. Identify patterns. The best way to understand people is to observe them. Repetitious behaviors provide very good insight into people's needs, as they show you what is truly going on in their conscious and unconscious minds. For example, if you have a colleague or spouse who is constantly in crisis, on some level they may get energy from chaos, or they may not want to slow down for fear of having to face some bigger issues in their lives. Patterns of behavior reveal people's deeper beliefs about the world and themselves. This helps you narrow down the key areas in which you can be more effective in your communication.
3. Listen. We all know the old adage that we were given two ears and one mouth to use in that proportion. Understanding others does not come from hearing ourselves talk. We must learn to listen – and not only to the words people say, but to the words they don't. Good listeners read between the lines, observe body language, and clear their minds of their own thoughts. That is no easy task, but it is the most important skill anyone can learn. The next column will focus on how to be a great listener and what that means to building relationships. So, stay tuned.
Most of us agree that our lives are rich not because of the things we own, but by the relationships we have. We get stuck in our needs, and our way of seeing things, and assume that things are black and white, when in truth, the answers are almost always in shades of gray. Understanding the complex personalities and needs of any other human being is among the greatest gifts we can give them, and ultimately ourselves.
By Elisa Levy
Monday, June 14, 2010
Key West,...Location, Location, Location…..
With a market that continues expanding I would like to introduce to you a rare opportunity to own an extraordinary home in the incredible Old Town location with a fabulous earning potential.
This one of a kind 3 bedroom 3 bathroom 2 story home is the largest one of 6 in the unique and secluded Old Town Compound, known as the Writers’ Compound. Stained glass, rail molding and wainscoting throughout make this home truly unique. Hidden private backyard with room for your own pool and off street parking. Drive by won’t do.
A transient license may be transferred for this home which leaves you plenty of space to customize this home for your excellent rental income!
Prices in the Keys are factually better than the majority of destinations in the United States. The explosive growth of South Dade County will definitely benefit the weekend gateways. We’ve had 283 sales as of 05/31/10 in Key West (KW-Shark Key) for this year which is 58% ahead of 2009! You are footsteps away from the Historic Seaport, the World famous Duval Street and the beaches!
Don’t miss this opportunity of a lifetime to own this fantastic Investment in Old Town.
To see this home call me today (1)305-776-2025. All offers welcome!
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Sunday, June 13, 2010
Come to Key West!
Discover a city where real estate titles date back to the Kings of Spain. Stroll the palm-lined streets and discover gingerbread mansions, tin-roofed conch houses, the John Audubon House and Ernest Hemingway's home, dine and relax in our fabulous restaurants. Walk in the footsteps of Thomas Edison, Lou Gehrig, Harry Truman, and Tennessee Williams and so much more....
Saturday, June 12, 2010
England vs. USA soccer match!
If there is one word that could sum up the much hyped and anticipated England vs. USA soccer match in the South Africa 2010 World Cup it is 'hope'. 'Hope' that the U.S. would hold onto its 1 point and 'hope' that Engalnd could make it 3. While England might be disappointed following the final whistle I am confident that the U.S. will revel in the so important point scored against the favorite in their group. Many people have reported to me in disdain that England was the better side, but in the end I say the ball is round and the game lasts 90 minutes ;). Good luck to both sides in their future endeavors in this 1st World Cup on African soil!
World Cup Soccer
By definition, a World Cup in Africa will be unlike any other.
It will be the largest sporting event – make that the largest event, period – ever staged in the continent. It may also be the costliest, with a price tag of more than $4.6 billion.
The World Cup is the largest and most watched sporting event on the globe – 32 nations playing 64 matches in nine cities over 31 days.
It will be the fourth World Cup staged in the Southern Hemisphere but the first since 1978, when Argentina was host.
The U.S. has never won a game in Mexico but did surprisingly well last summer in South Africa. At the Confederations Cup, the U.S. upset Spain, 2-0, in Bloemfontein and gave Brazil a scare in Johannesburg, losing 3-2 in the championship match.
Assuming South Africa doesn't pull off the greatest upset in sports history, and discounting Uruguay, which last won in 1950, that would leave six teams in the running: Argentina, Brazil, England, France, Germany and Italy. Since 1966, only one team not in that group has even reached the final: the Netherlands, at West Germany in 1974 and at Argentina in 1978. The Dutch lost to the host nation both times.
It will be the largest sporting event – make that the largest event, period – ever staged in the continent. It may also be the costliest, with a price tag of more than $4.6 billion.
The World Cup is the largest and most watched sporting event on the globe – 32 nations playing 64 matches in nine cities over 31 days.
It will be the fourth World Cup staged in the Southern Hemisphere but the first since 1978, when Argentina was host.
The U.S. has never won a game in Mexico but did surprisingly well last summer in South Africa. At the Confederations Cup, the U.S. upset Spain, 2-0, in Bloemfontein and gave Brazil a scare in Johannesburg, losing 3-2 in the championship match.
Assuming South Africa doesn't pull off the greatest upset in sports history, and discounting Uruguay, which last won in 1950, that would leave six teams in the running: Argentina, Brazil, England, France, Germany and Italy. Since 1966, only one team not in that group has even reached the final: the Netherlands, at West Germany in 1974 and at Argentina in 1978. The Dutch lost to the host nation both times.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Relocation to the Florida Keys!
Moving to a new location can be tough. To make your move to Key West or the Florida Keys a little easier, Monika created the following list of usefull contacts and phone numbers to help you get settled in your new home and city.
Monika has the experience and knowledge to help you through all stages of your move to the Florida Keys. Whether it's a moving truck, short-term housing or finding your dream home, Monika can help you through the process of getting here -- stress free.
Utilities:
Keys Energy Services 1001 James St.Key West,
FL 33040-6935USA
Phone: (305) 295-1000 (305) 295-1000
www.keysenergy.com
Water:
Key West and Lower Keys
1100 Kennedy Drive
Key West, FL 33041-1239
Phone: 305-296-2454
www.fkaa.com
Phone and Computer connection:
BellSouth
Phone: 1-888-757-6500
www.bellsouth.com
Cable:
Comcast
Phone: 1-800-266-2278
www.comcast.com
Garbage Service:
Waste Managment Garbage Collection
US Hwy 1
Stock Island
305-296-8297
Hospital:
Lower Keys Medical Center
5900 College Rd
Key West
Phone: 305-294-5531
Vehicle Registration:
Moroe County Tax Collector's Office
1200 Truman Ave
Key West
Phone: 305-295-5000
www.monroetaxcollector.com
Schools and Colleges:
Monroe County School District
241 Trumbo Rd
Key West
Phone: 305-293-1400
www.monroe.k12.fl.us
Florida Keys Community College
Phone: 305-296-9081
www.fkcc.cc/
The Citizen (daily Newspaper)
KeysNews.com
City of Key West
City Of Key West Code
Enforcement Jim Young 305-809-3734
Licensing & Permits Carolyn Walker 305-809-3955
Termites
Eddinger Pest Control 305-872-1008
Gulf Coast Extermination 2606 Fogarty Avenue 305-294-3494
Hammerhead 30385 Quail Roost Trail 305-515-2800
Monika has the experience and knowledge to help you through all stages of your move to the Florida Keys. Whether it's a moving truck, short-term housing or finding your dream home, Monika can help you through the process of getting here -- stress free.
Utilities:
Keys Energy Services 1001 James St.Key West,
FL 33040-6935USA
Phone: (305) 295-1000 (305) 295-1000
www.keysenergy.com
Water:
Key West and Lower Keys
1100 Kennedy Drive
Key West, FL 33041-1239
Phone: 305-296-2454
www.fkaa.com
Phone and Computer connection:
BellSouth
Phone: 1-888-757-6500
www.bellsouth.com
Cable:
Comcast
Phone: 1-800-266-2278
www.comcast.com
Garbage Service:
Waste Managment Garbage Collection
US Hwy 1
Stock Island
305-296-8297
Hospital:
Lower Keys Medical Center
5900 College Rd
Key West
Phone: 305-294-5531
Vehicle Registration:
Moroe County Tax Collector's Office
1200 Truman Ave
Key West
Phone: 305-295-5000
www.monroetaxcollector.com
Schools and Colleges:
Monroe County School District
241 Trumbo Rd
Key West
Phone: 305-293-1400
www.monroe.k12.fl.us
Florida Keys Community College
Phone: 305-296-9081
www.fkcc.cc/
The Citizen (daily Newspaper)
KeysNews.com
City of Key West
City Of Key West Code
Enforcement Jim Young 305-809-3734
Licensing & Permits Carolyn Walker 305-809-3955
Termites
Eddinger Pest Control 305-872-1008
Gulf Coast Extermination 2606 Fogarty Avenue 305-294-3494
Hammerhead 30385 Quail Roost Trail 305-515-2800
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